Hash 427 – Cross Keys @ Wanborough

It was decided that this year’s Boxing Day Hash should be at a new venue rather than The Keepers Arms at Quenington as had become almost a tradition in previous years. The decision was arrived at by the sort of supportive mutual discussion and lashings of goodwill that would normally be found in Alan Sugar’s Boardroom as the losing task team members vie for survival by lavishing praise (or otherwise) on their fellow colleagues’ contributions to failure. Eventually (eventually eventually) the finger was pointed to Viv and John and with the equivalent of “You’re hired”, the Cross Keys was unanimously applauded (by me).

For reasons I have never been able to comprehend the Boxing Day Hash is an occasion for hashers to show their unique and zany sense of humour by garbing themselves in fancy dress. Of course I do understand why intelligent, professional people feel the compulsion the attire themselves in ridiculous costumes and display themselves by running through the streets. It’s because …….  No, in fact I’ve no real idea why. Google was no help either. After googling ‘Why do adults like fancy dress?’ I got the reply from one spirited forum user: “With an attitude like that it is surprising that you have any friends”. As a compromise I donned my Arsenal shirt, football shorts and socks and visited JJB Sports on the way to acquire a football. Unfortunately they were closed, so my fancy dress was more like that of a hasher.

However, some hashers (who presumably have lots of friends) came in some wonderful regalia. Notable mentions are: Sam as a banana (very apeeling!), Mike as a skeleton, John & Margaret as Micky & Minnie mouse, and others who are viewable at GOM’s Gallery, although regrettably not Annie’s sporran which had made me laugh.

As we congregated in the car park there was much chatter and admiration for the various costumes (not mine of course). The winter sun was shining brightly and the sky was a deep summer blue. The pre-hash directions were given by the hares which were very very informative (I wish I’d been listening) and off we set.

In an effort to convey and describe the various and wonderful adventures we all had during the trail; the heartache, the camaraderie, the determination and the soft oozing unforgiving mud that we encountered throughout our travels through the amazing, awesome and astonishingly beautiful Wiltshire countryside, I’ve come up with this: ”we ran and then we stopped”
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Back at the pub the atmosphere was convivial and bubbling. Fighting against the melee and cacophony of happy Boxing Day revellers (all celebrating that Xmas was finally over) I thanked the hares for the best final Hash of the year. This was greeted by much deserved applause.

Many of us stayed to dine on the traditional Boxing Day fare of Fish’n’Chips which was delicious (absolutely true). So God bless Tiny Tim (whoever the Dickens he was) and Happy New Year to everyone else.

Lastly an uplifting quote: “This is the message of Christmas: we are never alone”. Unless, that is, you don’t understand the concept of Fancy Dress and are undeserving of friends – I must try harder on this next year – or of course, you just spend it on your own. That did not apply to anyone in the KVH3 who hashed today.