Hash 546 – Royal Inn @ Portishead

Date	Hare	Scribe
19 Aug 2018	Keith & Kay	Kathy

Okay, listen up folks …. Here’s a hash mag with a difference. Contained within my narrative are some titles of popular films/books (and a few obscure ones – I can’t make it too easy!), and I’m awarding a prize of top-quality Belgian chocolates to the first hasher to send me the full list. If no-one guesses them all, then the prize goes to whoever first guesses the highest number correctly (see my email address below). I offer no apology for how corny or even disjointed it may read in places – just have fun! (There are also two puns I couldn’t resist, which I threw in for good measure….)

Mamma Mia – Here we go again! Is it really a whole year since we ventured further afield on our last summer jolly? (Yep, just one day different – I checked). Well, wasn’t it posh at the Royal Inn? It could have been named The Grand. The friendly, efficient staff and imposing building, which commanded such a fabulous aspect overlooking the Bristol Channel, didn’t let us down one jot – unlike the drizzly weather – but who’s complaining? Though some like it hot, I’m pretty glad the white heat’s finally abated, and I bet I’m not the only one. I’ve been like a cat on a hot tin roof all summer – so a bit of mild damp didn’t dampen our spirits at all.

So very well done, Keith and Kay, for sussing out yet another extremely attractive location – with the added bonus that few of us were even aware of this hidden gem just an hour away. I know, I know… all those day-trips gallivanting over the South-West on our behalf to find the perfect venue, and sampling all those meals out, must have been exhausting for them – so something’s gotta give – but today’s hash was undoubtedly almost as good as it gets. They gave us wonderful wind-swept greenery right on the water-front, a dramatic jagged edge coastline, an award-winning marina, stunning quayside development, panoramic lake grounds almost on the beach – which host an open-air lido rescued from demolition by the location community – and a view of Battery Point lighthouse, silhouetted on the horizon, to name just a few of today’s many highlights. Simply stunning.

But I digress. As Brian and I descended the brow of the hill towards the Inn, we felt a familiar and pleasurable buzz at the colourful sight of so many faithful hashers all neatly parked and chattering amicably away as we prepared for the “off”. Amongst a flurry of photos, and somewhat hurried instructions and introductions to younger newcomers – including Ainslie & Simon’s daughter, Georgina (what a pretty woman) – the much anticipated summer hash got under way.

I enjoyed every single moment. Annie and I walked the hilly shorter route, taking in some fabulous coastal scenery, cos we wanted to save our energy for a final extra mile walk around the exciting boat-filled marina, now lined with a compact array of colourful new houses, balcony-draped duplexes and – for the lucky few – opulent penthouses, all designed to make the most of the wonderful sea views and unique, activity-filled setting. There’s even a new state-of-the art lifeboat station, opened in 2015, which houses a B class Atlantic 85 inshore lifeboat (whatever that is, but I’m sure there’s more than three men in a boat). It previously operated as an independent station for 20 years: a vital service – long may it continue.

The rest of the regular walkers – great to see the young ones – completed a longer route along the majestic coast, but also took in the impressive quayside at the end as well, before convening outside the pub for a reviving drink. Mike particularly wished me to pay tribute to gentleman Jim who kept him company on a shorter but no less convivial and enjoyable stroll. We missed little Lily – Julie & Kevin’s tiny dog, such a familiar part of our hashes now – because some uncontrolled bully viciously attacked her, and the poor thing had to have stitches – but we hope she’s yapping at us again soon!

On this occasion, however, there were only THREE runners – the ever-youthful Viv, John and Viv’s colleague Libby (who I hope didn’t feel overwhelmed by us all!) – but sadly they disappeared due to another commitment before I had chance to get some quotes from them… perhaps they can add a comment to this mag (other than mutterings of the loneliness of the long-distance runner…)? All you other runners – please don’t desert us!

Many of us stayed for Sunday lunch and, even though we couldn’t all be seated together in the same room this time (we’re often a rather boisterous bunch en masse, so a daunting prospect for even the most seasoned landlord I suspect!), we were all served promptly with hot and tasty food, and I really enjoyed mine.

But it doesn’t end there….. a stalwart core of loyal hashers (Kay, Keith, Annie, Mike, James, Lynne, John, Margaret, Louisa, Brian and scribe) stayed for the traditional summer hash games, organized with great aplomb by Margaret and John, who came fully prepared with some impressive equipment…. They were held next to the pretty bird-filled lake, though there were some dark mutterings from Keith about the ‘seagull has landed, and where seagulls dare’…as he has an understandable aversion to soiled pavements! Even scribe joined in the game of boules and the tug of war finale, where a few good men and some enthusiastic ladies applied plenty of elbow grease to enable their team to win.

We’ll remember this as the long, hot summer but I’m ready for some nice autumnal hashes now…

A huge thank you again to our two smashing hares for such an enjoyable and relaxing day out – just what I needed! NB: Including the two puns, there are twenty titles. Good luck.

Email: kathy_thomas@btopenworld.com.