| Date | Hare | Scribe |
|---|---|---|
| 21 Aug 2022 | Viv & John | Jeremy |
Innovate or die is a sometime trendy business mantra, but I’m pleased to hear that KVH3 adopted it recently with our previous multi-media hash mag including a Listen with GOM section. Will there be another and who knows how KVH3 might innovate further in the future – accounts on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, WhatsApp, or even Tinder maybe?
However, Innovation can sometimes have unintended consequences and I worry slightly about the AudioBook approach, since as any newsreader will tell you, words, and in particular names can present difficulties.
In some respects our hash is, dare I say it, a bit bland – but that is good. We go to pubs such as The Red Lion or The Rose & Crown, in places such as Liddington or Chilton Foliat and our names are simple ones such as Mike, Margaret, and Brian, none of which should cause linguistic concern.
But what about The Horseshoe @ Mildenhall, or a few we have yet to go to: The Three Swans @ Frome, The Farmer’s Arms @ Woolfardisworthy in Devon, or heaven forbid, The Penrhos Arms @ Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch in Anglesey?
As for names, it’s lucky we don’t have any Cholmondleys, Colquhoons, Featherstonehaughs or Mainwarings or any Irish lass called Róisín joining us, and very very great care needs to be taken if ever asking Has anyone seen Mike Hunt recently?.
Notwithstanding these future possible pitfalls, I’m glad to say that today’s traditional hash was indeed quite bland, being expertly laid by Viv & John from The Fox and Hounds @ Uffington – see no problem there.
So what about this hash then?
Well, getting to it was a bit problematic as I was relying on memory and in consequence ended up taking a rather circuitous route, arriving eventually at the wrong end of the correct village and having then to seek out the pub. I wasn’t embarrassed as another hasher behind me seemed equally disorientated. Luckily we both still arrived on time. Des later advised that that was the last time he was going to follow me on the assumption that I knew where I was going – probably a sensible decision, both for on the road and on the hash.
Anyway, there were some 20 or so of us gathered for the start and when I walked up in my running stuff someone who will remain nameless noticed I had Noodle with me and enquired innocently whether I would be running with him – or as she put it dogging. I was slightly taken aback, but had to agree that yes I would be – and so I did.
For the briefing Viv announced that the trails would be 6.5 and 4 miles respectively – moans all round – and that whilst the short was flat, the long wasn’t – more moans as we looked at Uffington Castle rearing up in the distance. There were no hazards, apart from a field of docile cattle near the end. After more moans she agreed to lay a Very Short route of 2 miles that would avoid them. But did anyone take it? I don’t know.
Off we set, following the well laid trail, avoiding chickens, wonky arrows and out into the countryside, over harvested wheat fields, pretty wooded trails and into Woolstone. Then, for the runners (Des, Sue, Keith and myself), it was up, up, up – the question on our minds being how far up? Well, it was all the way, where we then had spectacular views of the Vale of the White Horse, with Dragon Hill, Woolstone and Uffington spread out below. Even Viv, who had laid the trail earlier, joined us for a second run round the course.
At one point where the path split into multiple routes Des enquired the direction to take – to which Viv huffily replied if there’s no flour continue straight on – only to then sheepishly call us all back a little later to have us instead make a sharp turn to the right. It must have been the rarified atmosphere, or brain failure from running too far. Sue did confide though that it was all blooming lovely.
Safely back at the pub, we sat outside for drinks and roast dinners. Kathy was very proud that she had walked the whole short route – 3.7 miles she stated – so I feel it should get a mention. Hilary hinted her forthcoming trail in 2 weeks time was “weird”, and that we’d all get lost, so I await with anticipation.
GOM thanked the hares for a great trail – because it was – then David presented the shorts to Kathy – but I forget why.
Last hash, the horn had been presented to Dan for running too fast, so of course he didn’t turn up this time. He had however entrusted it to Pam, who presented it to Des. Again, not sure why, but he was the fastest runner this time, so perhaps that should become the tradition, although as the horn is pink it might not be universally appreciated. Will Des and the horn re-appear next hash?
We then slowly started to take our leave, David picking up a dead pigeon for his supper. I know, I know, the cost of living nowadays.
I’m certain that all enjoyed the hash – I certainly enjoyed the dogging, and I hope Pam that you did as well.
ON ON
Pronunciation Guide
- Mildenhall
Minal - Frome
Froom - Woolfardisworthy
Woolsery - Cholmondley
Chumley - Colquhoon
Carhoon - Featherstonehaugh
Fanshaw - Mainwaring
Mannering - Róisín
Ro-sheen - Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
Just pronounce it as it’s spelt