| Date | Hare | Scribe |
|---|---|---|
| 18 Feb 2024 | Kevin & Julie | Kathy |
Well, I’ve been hashing for more than twenty years and – according to the bylines on our website – have authored almost thirty hash mags (and perhaps a few of the anonymous ones early on too, who knows?), so how to find anything new – let alone accurate – to say is an increasingly onerous challenge. Can I pull another one out of the bag that someone will actually want to read after all these years? So I’ve decided to headline this one with “the hash that almost wasn’t”. Do I have your attention now, dear Reader? Read on…
It all began so well. Several weeks ago the lovely Des asked me if I’d like to choose a venue for the hash trails he’d agreed to lay today. He generously said I could even share some of the credit, and make the intro as well, even though the vast majority of the work would be his. How could I possibly refuse? I threw myself at the gauntlet with gusto and identified an attractive venue – not far from here – where I’d recently eaten several good meals, and recalled a separate snug area perfect in size for our numbers. A prompt phone conversation with a friendly member of staff agreed it seemed an ideal space for us, an area they only opened up at weekends.
A few days later I called again and asked to speak to the Manager himself to try to firm things up. Oh dear. A hesitant froideur crept into his tone, which didn’t bode well, but to be fair he evidently didn’t speak English as a first language and here I really struggled to get across the spirit of the hash (though, in a weak effort to establish some sort of rapport with me, he did get as far as saying ‘hash like hash tag?’) so – not to be deterred – I arranged to visit and speak to him in person. What could possibly go wrong? The appointment duly arrived. Not a glimmer of a smile, no hint of warm hospitality whatsoever, and the sort of stonewalling that would have done Geoff Boycott proud. Could we definitely all be back by noon sharp? Not a chance. Could we guarantee that at least eighteen of us would book lunch? A big nope. But the best bit was … wouldn’t we like to do it mid-week instead? (And I thought it was always a diamond ring that clinched the deal!).
So I swiftly drove several miles back in the direction from whence I came and – mercifully – secured a wonderful greeting and a warm advance hash welcome at The Crown in Broad Hinton (duly ratified today by the beaming young manageress – Bianca – and her little boy Henry).
Another reason I’m calling this “the hash that almost wasn’t” is that poor Des recently suffered a very painful injury which prevented him from even recce-ing, let alone laying, an alternative trail (so that let scribe firmly off the hook, then, as Des had been mischievously spreading rumours that I was actually going to lay the last part of it…. hysterical background laughter). Here, I must point out that Kevin & Julie manfully, and womanfully, stepped into the breach without hesitation, dear hashers, to lay today’s very challenging trail. This was a terrific gesture, given that they’d only very recently provided us with a very enjoyable hash around West Swindon. What’s more, they didn’t complain at all that today’s route was their THIRD attempt over the past week at laying a navigable hash, as a recent series of heavy deluges left much of the surrounding countryside extremely waterlogged, to put it mildly.
Yet the eventual route K&J laid for us today was quite spectacular and varied with its wonderful far-reaching scenery – not second or even third best at all – which included two iconic white horses (but facing the wrong way I like to think?), some very pricey “des res” properties (not you, Des, you’re reassuringly cheap!) and the beautiful downland village of Clyffe Pypard with its lovely old houses and stunning, ancient church. We were happy, relaxed and ready for the final ascent, even taking our coats off the warmer it got.
Hills… what hills? Streams? That’s what wellies are for! In fact the last group of walkers enjoyed themselves so much that they walked the last section twice (Hilary, Soma, Val & scribe), arriving back at the pub at the un-Godly hour of 1.45 just in time to hear the speeches. Someone calculated that was about six miles. SIX miles?! An absolute first for me as even four miles is pushing it a bit, so I feel really smug about it now!
But of course, in true hash mag form, I digress. Firstly, despite the forecasts, the sun shone not only on the drive here (through several areas of floodwater) but throughout the entire hash, and it was a very mild and windless day. About twenty of us turned up, including Margaret & John who actually arrived ten minutes early for a change – a rarity worth remarking on. It was lovely to have Val join us again, especially as I knew she already had a very hectic weekend planned (she lives in Devizes now so it was great to see her, though before we get too big for our wellies she did say the exceptionally mild weather played a big part in her decision, not just the pleasure of our company). Runner Julie sent her apologies as she had woken up full of a cold, and didn’t want to pass it on, but the rest of us were only too glad to set off in bright, dry weather. There may have been lots of very boggy surface water but – hurrah – not one single stile! And Julie brought well-behaved little Jess with her (inlaws Paul & Di’s tiny little dog), which Annie was happy to feed with bits of gravy-soaked leftover Yorkies later.
The speeches were necessarily short and sweet – though no less sincere for that – as it was fast approaching our meal time. So, regrettably, very little time remained for the late-comers to mingle in the Crown’s charming little snug area, but eight of us enjoyed a really excellent and very tasty carvery at the two o’clock sitting. Mike awarded Henry the metal horn ‘just because’ and Viv awarded scribe the shorts for various trumped-up reasons, but mainly to encourage me to dance on the table wearing them when we next get together. In her dreams!
This was a really lovely and extremely relaxing day out in very convivial company, and a huge thank you once again to Kevin & Julie for a delightful and very clearly marked trail.