| Date | Hare | Scribe |
|---|---|---|
| 12 May 2024 | Maurice | Viv |
I have to admit to contemplating recently whether we need to change our KVH3 name by adding in an additional ‘G’. This would perhaps describe our group more accurately, as we seem to be moving rapidly towards becoming the Kennet Valley Geriatric Hash House Harriers. The time it takes us to complete our routes seem to increase each month. And this was certainly the case today, as no one made it back to the pub much before 1.30, despite our hare assuring us we would be following standard length trails of 3mls short and 6mls long.
But wait a minute, we should all have been suspicious, because our hare was Maurice – and we all remember trails of his which have extended to well over 12mls. And after comparing our various mileage monitoring apps at the end, today seemed to be no exception. However, Maurice must have realised his error, because halfway round Mr & Mrs GOM (walking the long route) received a phone call from him offering to bring his car to fetch them back. They chivalrously declined, saying they were waiting for runners Viv & John to catch up 😕
Both Maurice and David B seem to have trouble differentiating miles from kilometres when planning their routes, so perhaps this is all part of the geriatric aging process. Maybe the rest of us hares will reach that stage soon too; perhaps hashers will need to start bringing survival packs to ensure they manage to complete routes without mishap.
Despite the length, the route was glorious. The sun shone and there was a gentle breeze as we ran through fields of brilliant yellow rape, woods with vivid bluebells still flowering, and along the canal towpath with the sound of gently flowing water. As an added bonus, we heard peacocks and a cuckoo – or were we perhaps hallucinating by then due to heat exhaustion.
How does Maurice manage to find such super new routes? I wonder if it’s probably because he gets lost whenever he’s in the countryside, and ends up exploring new territory which was never part of his original plan.
But none of us minded the extra length today because, after all the cold rain and mud of the past few months, it was one of those days you feel good to be alive when you can be outside in the sun enjoying such glorious scenery. 🌞 Thank you Maurice for a super hash.
Back in the garden of the Wheatsheaf, Kathy paraded round for the photographers in her penalty shorts she’d been awarded (several weeks ago).
She then proceeded to remove them rather suggestively, much to the surprise of the other customers trying to enjoy a quiet drink in the garden. She awarded them to John, apparently because he looks very ‘elegant’ in shorts. John was slightly concerned to hear Kathy had been ‘incubating’ the shorts for a while now, so I think he intends to wash them before wearing them.
p.s. Last time I wrote a mag after one of Maurice’s trails, it was three years before he spoke to me again, so hopefully I’ll be spared those Irish anecdotes of his for another 3 years now……… 🤔