Hash 582 – Bruce Arms @ Milton Lilbourne

Date Hares Scribe
5 Jan 2020 Colin John

When we arrived at The Bruce Arms there was a continuous stream of cars and people turning up, but where was our Hare? With growing concern from our GOM , Colin appeared at 11 o’clock as a muddy apparition with mud coated up to his knees raising cheers from the runners and apprehension from the walkers, especially as Colin indicated that the muddiest route was in fact for the walkers. Before the walkers set off however, I believe Colin confided with Kathy that he was joking, that he smeared his legs with mud, and it wouldn’t really come up above her welly boots.

Colin also made the claim and the challenge, that this Hash carried the undisputed title of the best Hash and best Hare of 2020.

After crossing a busy main road, the route led us along tracks to Easton Hill and eventually arriving on top of the edge of Salisbury Plain, which delighted us with 360-degree views of the surrounding countryside, and also Martinsell Hill, in the distance. The return route took us through the outskirts and the churchyard of the village of Milton and eventually re-joining the outbound track from the pub.

The Bruce Arms brought joy to Navy Mike as it was an authentic drinkers pub, with a roaring log fire, serving no food and with the absence of music and TV screens. The beer was as good as the welcome from the landlord and the local drinkers.

David, dressing accordingly with his best shorts and running top, anticipated the arrival of a distant neighbour of his who now lived locally. Keith announced that she did arrive with a selection of sandwiches, but unconfirmed rumour has it, that she took one look at David and promptly disappeared.

We were all wondering how Kathy coped with the walk and the expected amount of mud on the walker’s route, but she said she avoided the worst of the mud by employing the ‘Kathy waddle’, supported by a short demonstration of her method.

GOM, overcoming the noisy banter in the pub, thanked Colin for a super Hash, but disputed his claim that this would be the best Hash of 2020, but we shall see. The blue shorts were awarded by Debbie, from Shinsplints, to David for his cheek, or was it for his bedside manner, we may never know. It appears the penalty award was valid as David was also spotted a couple of times making short cuts across the fields. Viv received the horn from Maurice for the equally high misdemeanour of a short cut and missing out the churchyard part of the route, although in her defence she said the short cut was sanctioned by Colin?

Thanks again Colin for a great Hash, which was well supported, including several returning members of Shinsplints which we hope we shall see again.

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