Hash 532 – Woodman @ Fernham

Date Hare Scribe
21 Jan 2018 Viv & John Jeremy


Nothing memorable happened on today’s hash, so rather than bore you with the usual pleasantries I thought I’d instead provide feedback from our foreign correspondent who has been tweeting about it all day, albeit having earlier decided not to attend.

Reason I canceled my trip is that I am not a big fan of the the Keith Administration having given perhaps the best located and finest hash venue for “peanuts,” only to hold a new one in an off location. Bad deal. Wanted me to turn up-NO!

An early issue today concerned parking irregularities when people arrived at KVH3 – the attendance policy was quite clear “Please park on the road close to the pub and not in the pub car park, which is quite small.” Our correspondent tweeted:

NO to people from ‘shithole’ places that can’t read rules. YOU are NOT wanted. My parking is not small. It is HUGE! I’m a GENIUS.

Another concern he had was that some news channels were reporting that the weather was worse today than for previous events:

Beautiful weather all over our great country. Agencies should never have allowed this FAKE NEWS to “leak” into the public. Are we living in Nazi Germany?


Then when Mike presented the horn to Kathy – for staying in her car, ….

You dumbass – you deserved it. Should be public execution for all to see-you will end this bullshit fast! BEAUTIFUL SUNSHINE today.


Brian indicated he would soon be off on foreign visits – perhaps hashing whilst away.

BAD choice! We’ve got a hash but it is a much bigger & more powerful one, and this one works! MAKE KVH3 GREAT AGAIN.

Mike indicated he has spent the last week nursing Annie who has been ill with EBOLA, which got this response:

Cannot allow EBOLA people back. People that go to far away places to help out are great – but must suffer the consequences!

The runners were the last to return today so it seems they are getting slower as they age. Not so apparently:

Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been running ability and being, like, really smart. Crooked Jeremy also played these cards very hard and, as everyone knows, went down in flames. I went from VERY successful businessman, to top T.V. Star…..

GOM thanked John and Viv for being hares today.

KVH3 Hashes are GREAT with me – and get GREATER. I am really smart.

Finally, GOM indicated that he had requested that attendees for the 20th Anniversary Dinner should let the pub know their meal choices.

Bullshit! FAKE NEWS! Tell that dumbass Keith what you want.


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4 Responses to Hash 532 – Woodman @ Fernham

  1. Kathy says:

    xxxxxxxx to all who braved the weather that day, most particularly our two hares themselves.

  2. Brian Lovell says:

    Brilliant and funny but FAKE mag. Must build a firewall to keep this out….and the Mexicans will pay for it.

  3. Keith says:

    How refreshing! Hash mag by a genius, the Great One himself! Never saw that one coming. Bit long though, for a tweet. Hope he has a good lawyer, (which I suspect he does) .

    For myself, I thoroughly enjoyed getting frozen to the core, muddied and soaked through, followed by getting thawed out in the pub with a good pint. Great turnout for weather like that. Thanks Viv and John.

  4. Mike says:

    Brilliant Mag Jeremy

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