Hash 380 – The Plough @ Kelmscot

Date Hare Scribe
29 April 2012 Keith Brian

The photo on the left shows the happy hashers gathering (?) prior to the hash. Please don’t be alarmed as this was a supervised outing and the four on the left were back at ‘The Home for the Bewildered’ before curfew and the two on the right returned safely to their own planet before they were missed.

Kathy complimented the previous hash scribe (Hilary) on describing the Daneway hash so well that it was like being there. Not to be outdone would you please take this mag up to the bathroom, leave the door ajar and open all windows (to get a good through draft). Turn the shower on full blast and set to extreme cold. Done that? Good. Now step into the shower (yes, fully clothed including shoes). If you have received this as an email attachment you have printed it out haven’t you and not taken your laptop into the shower? Good. Then I’ll begin……….

When I chugged my way upstream into Kelmscot it was raining. It was raining hard. I was early. After a few minutes one or two other cars arrived and its occupants gingerly climbed out, donned hats and umbrellas, took down the spinnakers, then unhitched the inflatable rafts and water skis.

Our two intergalactic friends dressed as Kenny from Southpark to blend in (see above photo again), whilst the rest of us just shivered. Feeling sorry for Keith who had been out laying trail it was decided we would do the hash. Keith pointed the way and off we paddled. Very soon we were splashing our way along the Thames. Navy Mike was wearing a bright yellow number so he could be easily spotted by air/sea rescue if needed. It would also make it impossible for us to lose him. At this point we were joined by Maurice who had arrived late.

As often happens the runners became strung out along the way. Maurice and I trailed at the back chatting comfortably. We talked about life/death, adversity and survival.

Marriage, divorce, prejudice, falling in love, falling out of love, the Irish legal system and the bl**dy rain and wind we were running in.

We met Keith. He was in his car. Apparently we had lost Mike. Should we retrace our steps and find him? A five second discussion ensued. No……let’s carry on. One mile further on we met Keith again. Mike was still missing. A longer discussion….six seconds….No…let’s carry on. We did find Mike later. I won’t say where but he did have a pint of beer in his hand when we found him.

Anyway, we all were back at the pub safe and wet. One of us was wetter than the rest (apparently! Evidence was not shown). Margaret and James had arrived late and walked the short trail with Annie. So both trails were followed and Keith’s hard work not wasted.


The après hash was a delight. Though just ten of us the atmosphere was buzzing and the conversation was witty, loquacious, playful, sparkling and on occasions a little steamy. Well we were all drying off in the warm surroundings. We had a few drinks, some chips and a many laughs. We finally left a little after three o’clock (which means the après hash lasted longer than the actual hash) after thanking the hare, Keith, for a great trail with plenty of arrows. I awarded the horn to Viv for…well you had to be there.

Okay, you can get out of the shower now.

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