| Date | Hare | Scribe |
|---|---|---|
| 26 Oct 2025 | Viv & John | Maurice |
Who’d have thought it. The 700th Hash in Ramsbury, the same village where the first one took place. The first was in the Bell which has gone upmarket in recent years, and is now a bit grand and pricey for us on a Sunday. So, GOM arranged for the party to be in the Royal British Legion, a first for me, and a surprise – so well laid out, good beer selection and welcoming. Thumbs up for the ladies who looked after us.
First, we needed a photo.
Normally that’s not difficult even with thirty plus walkers and three runners. But we have to give ourselves a break here. 27 years ago, when we were runners only, we might have gathered sensibly, tallest to the back, smallest to the front, then Hilary and Soma. Not this time. It was chaos, like a cattle-fair where all the animals circle in alternate directions looking for the gate. In this case looking for the camera, which one of the small RBL ladies was handling with difficulty. I wanted to shout to her: “Jump up on the table” but I held back, concerned that would cause more disruption and I might not get home before dark.
The picture was taken, several times in fact from the same position. The runners later discussed how many shuteyes there might have been. It made sense to have lots of the same image. That lady is obviously used to the elderly getting lost in a big room.
Viv took charge of the briefing. Dear Viv, Lovely Viv. There was a time when she would’ve spoken about the route in her clipped accent that would’ve taken no prisoners and been twenty seconds at most. Today was not one of those days.
“The short is three miles, give or take, and the long is a shade over five miles, give or take. I can tell you about the short. There are no obstacles. Yes, (as Kathy put her hand up), I’m confirming there are no obstacles other than stiles, gates, ploughed fields, mud and a storm that’s coming in later. Certainly, no cows, though there could be horses, foxes, rabid dogs, but they’re not obstacles. It’s fairly flat, give or take, where the flat bits are and definitely not flat on hills, hillocks, ridges, especially going up. (laugh) Flat on the way down of course. You’ll enjoy the open fields, the closed in forests where there are no obstacles, oh wait, I’ve covered that.” And she stopped. “Do you want to talk about the long, John?’ Long John, I liked that but even John knew when to stop. His answer was “No!” Definitive. Thank God.
Kevin asked Viv which way was On. She pointed, the GOM turned her towards the window and with her finger still pointed she was correct. 27 years and we’ll never have those years back.
The runners took off, confident as ever: Brian, Colin and me. Poor Jeremy pulled a muscle and couldn’t run so joined the walkers wearing his wellies. After fifty metres we missed the first arrow to the right and were shouted at by the slow runners. That happened twice more but we were beyond the walkers by then. We just never stopped talking and blokes generally can’t run, talk and look out for arrows and circles, all at the same time. Something had to give.
It was a delightful Hash, not bad underfoot considering it was late October. Autumn is running late this year (in case you are reading this 27 years from now and are enjoying all-year-round Sahara summers and Continental winters since the Gulf Stream stopped operating in 2035.) The colours were a delight, the fields with late harvest for silage or ploughed for early Spring sowing. It’s a shame that the fields are so open, devoid of the hedges we enjoyed in the old days before the government gave subsidies to get rid of hedges, and are now giving subsidies to plant them back again before the land is swept away by climate change tempests.
I love running and talking. The kilometres just disappear beneath your feet, and you can have a three-way conversation with great companions in Colin and Brian. I added a bit of colour myself. Nothing like telling stories when you have a captive audience. It was a great Hash as far as I’m concerned and I don’t really care about arrows and circles as you can always go back. Until of course you don’t see any flour.
Colin was the first to notice. Viv, who got lost on the short course around the short/long divide, more or less, and saw us from the distance and thought we three runners were thirty walkers, was the second to notice. Bless her, she tried to make excuses for John missing the flour by pointing to arrows that we couldn’t see but there you are. We are where we are.
Brian and I were first home of the runners. Colin insisted on staying with Viv to ensure she got back safely. And then we waited for the long-distant walkers to arrive. And waited. But Hey, Ho, it’s our 700th celebration. GOM gave an excellent speech. Seven GOMs in 700 Hashes, a nice touch. Then he said he’d done 99 and the next one would be 100 as if we couldn’t work that out for ourselves. And when I looked around, I thought, what a caring GOM is Kevin, because it looked like nobody else worked it out.
GOM gave a special Lifetime Achievement Award to Jeremy for being Web Master for a few decades and being incredibly helpful behind the scenes. As a previous GOM I can only agree. Top bloke. He also gave a Special Recognition Award to Viv and John for their contribution as hares to the 700th Kennet Valley Hash and well deserved too. He gave a gift to the RBL ladies for their wonderful support on a Sunday when they could’ve been at home with their families. Still, I bet they brought a few stories home later in the day.
Jane was presented with the shorts by Viv for being a walker and not a runner. It seemed to confuse Jane who spoke lovingly about her running career which, from what I could gather, was never more than 5k, more or less. Definitely a walker.
GOM invited me to pass on the trumpet. But this wasn’t any old trumpet. The trumpet had been to Everest Base Camp a few weeks previously, and the photo shows Des, Colin and me against a background of stark and cold mountains. I was delighted to present it to Kevin, our GOM in a long line from Mike, Margaret, Jeremy, Me, Brian, Keith and now Kevin and I’m sure we’d all agree, Kevin is one of the best GOMs if not the best. It was a wonderful day. And thanks to Viv and John for laying a fitting 700th Hash trail.
Then the group retired to a spectacular buffet.
On! On!