Hash 603 – Chez David & Sue @ Wanborough

8 Aug 2021DavidSonia

When I was asked by our new GOM whether I could write and I answered far too quickly “Yes” it very quickly dawned on me, although not quick enough, that I had walked into a trap – the passing to me of the Hash Mag Mantle. For the past two and a half decades the extent of my creative writing has been Police statements, Prosecution Files, bailing myself out of trouble reports, and my daily PNB entry. My style of writing is a strictly “Just the facts mam,” approach and so rather than changing the habits of a lifetime I will regurgitate the events of Hash 603 in the manner most familiar and comfortable to me – as a Pocket Notebook Entry (PNB).

Completing your PNB every hour of every day on duty, was always one of the first things you were taught as a probation Constable. “Pocket note books, property, and Police women are the three things that will get you into the s**t,” my Sergeant always told me – well Policemen in my case, albeit many moons ago. The below account retells the hash in all its glory, but with a touch of embellishment and poetic licence added – much like my statements. Just kidding!

I have included a glossary below for some light education and assistance in jargon translation to save you having to Google and I have promoted myself for the purposes of this exercise – author’s prerogative:

PNB Entry of Police Sergeant Sonia – Sunday 8th August 2021

1055 – Commence duty Wanborough village, operation Saga 603 i/c other officers. PC ‘Big Mike’ reporting sick at commencement of duty due to ‘Biggirlsblouseitis’

1100 – Briefing room. Inspector David commencing briefing for Op Saga.

Aim: Pro-active focus on County Lines OCGs targeting Wanborough residents in the supply of controlled substances. Stop and search powers apply.

Inspector David instructed patrol officers: Exit briefing location —-keep going right until you have to go left —- about turn at The Plough to take the short route —-then join the long route to the M4—-Keep the route markings on your right at all times unless they are on your left. On On!

Intel: Suspect male seen in area described as w,m wearing dark glasses and offensive black top with ‘NWH3’ logo. Spotted in the village within the hour. Officers are instructed to detain for drug search if found.

1110 – Briefing concluded. S5 patrol i/c other officers.

1115 – The Marsh. Locate suspicious unidentified white powder at side of road. Description of powder, clear white, no traces of brown / wholemeal and copious amount present. PC Viv stated she had located this powder at various locations on her journey from home to briefing location. PC Viv reprimanded for conducting unsanctioned recce of location. Patrol Officers tasked to identify further locations of white powder.

1125 – Drugs dog Rocky and handler, PC Maurice at scene to locate further evidence / white powder. Drugs dog Rocky resuming paw-trol after eating evidence.

1130 – Assistance shout. PC Julie lost and unable to locate fellow officers. Reporting disorientation following briefing and no trace of white powder along route. WH99 deployed to locate PC Julie.

1135 – Further assistance shout from PC Mike, also lost. WH99 cancelled – PC Mike beyond help.

1140 – Lynch Field Playing Fields – Trespassers reported on field, cutting across to churchyard – not sticking to designated route. Confirmed to be walkers from local gang ‘KVH3’. Gang warning markers for outbursts of violence, weapons and intolerance of badly marked routes. Officers told to approach with caution. KVH3 walkers details taken by officers and issued PND for the offence of SCB.

1155 – Hinton Parva. Eyeball on suspect running through fields in company of a 2nd w,m wearing a blue baseball cap and blue shorts. Officers in close pursuit.

1200 – Eyeball lost at Hinton Parva farm. PC Jeremy and colleagues ceased pursuit to admire robotic lawn mower. Lawn mower commandeered for essential Police purposes (erm!)

1205 – Officers down! Pursuit hampered by hidden landmines / cow pats. The culprits had since moo-ved on but I suffered grievous harm to my trainers.

1210 – Approach to Wanborough, eyeball on suspects. Officers in pursuit, but suspected SCB activity by suspect 1 across Wanborough fields putting him well ahead. Call for back-up from LWD.

1215 – Marsh Lane. LWD intercepted and detained both suspects. Intimate drugs searches carried out by roadside. Quantities of controlled substances seized. Arrested on suspicion of Possession of a controlled drug with intent to supply to residents of Wanborough. Reply to caution – “It’s a fair cop guv!” Suspects escorted to custody.

Items seized: 1 Kilo of Sanatagen capsules, 2 litres of Cod Liver Oil, and 100 blister packs of Wellman 70+ and 1 x Beat the Boss phone.

1230 – Stand down, stand down. All Op Saga officers return to base for debrief and refs break. Insp. David congratulated on a successful operation but forced to take retirement after disappearing into rear garden with a number of WPCs.


Assistance shout – The dreaded call of a fellow colleague in trouble and shouting for help over the airwaves.

Beat the Boss phone – a mobile phone designed to be hidden (use your imagination there) and designed to be smuggled into cells and prisons. Frequently carried by Drug dealers.

County Lines OCGs – Drug dealing Organised Crime Groups (OCGs) crossing county boundaries for drug trafficking into rural areas and out of major towns and cities, effectively spreading the gang’s network.

Eyeball – Terminology for spotting and observing a subject / suspect.

Intimate Drugs Searches – I’ll let you use your imagination to probe that meaning. But it definitely wouldn’t be carried out by the roadside normally.

LWD (Leisurely Walkers Division) – Entirely made up I’m afraid although I would have been a prime candidate if there had been such a unit for my uniformed foot patrols.

PNB (Pocket Note Book ) – A daily record made by officers recording their actions throughout their duty. Frequent entries are made throughout the day recording briefings, intelligence, instructions, interactions and anything that may have relevance or be evidential. All entries start with times and locations. Abbreviations and status codes (which vary between Police forces) are used as shorthand, eg i/c other officers – in company of other officers and w,m – white, male.

PND – Penalty Notice for Disorder issued for low level anti-social misdemeanours such as urinating in public.

Recce – Short for reconnaissance

Refs – Refreshment break

S5 (Status 5) – Commence patrol

S6 (Status 6) – Arrive at destination / arrive at incident

S11 (Status 11) – End of duty

SCB – Hashing term for anyone not familiar of ‘Short cutting B****rd’

Stand down, stand down – What every Police officer loves to hear, the end of the operation. Almost time to go home.

WH99 – The call sign of Wiltshire Police’s helicopter although now long departed.

On a serious note, a big thankyou to David and Sue who put on a wonderful spread and worked very hard to provide the hashers with a fabulous well marked route across beautiful countryside. Good size blobs and checks, although it was noted by Karol and Pete that David’s were smaller in comparison to Pete’s. It must have been a pretty miserable morning for David to lay the trail but fortunately the weather came good and it was a very pleasant run / walk. I think we can all agree that a good time was had by all.

This entry was posted in David Hare, Sonia Scribe. Bookmark the permalink.